We have all had the experience of feeling like we just met with a person who we thought we knew, but somehow the encounter left us feeling like we just met with a stranger. Its an awful 
experience. We feel confused, sad, and even angry. The person who was there was not being their authentic self.
We all get lost. How often have people had this very same experience with you? Are you showing up or are you appearing but hanging back so far that people look at you and wonder where the actual you is hiding?
In my work as a psychologist, I have found myself putting forth increasingly more effort to be my authentic best and allow it to simply unfold and be natural. As I do this daily and throughout the day, I discover parts of myself that I need to improve. I find that I am needing to become more loving, compassionate, and smart about everything I do. This is not easy. We all have habits and mindsets that we slip into. We get cocky, cavalier, ego-centric, and emotional in ways that are counterproductive.
The secret is to allow ourselves the necessary time to gather our self and tune into our mood and our genuine feelings. Then we understand why it is and how it is that they are influencing our thoughts. This is not fluff, this is serious awareness work–not for the faint of heart or those lacking in courage. This is painful stuff to dive into and sit in the midst of. I’m aware of the emotional barbs that jab at my self-image, that prompt a bit of discomfort as they rise up and stare right into my own eyes. Sometimes I hate it and feel compelled to walk away.
However, there is a problem when I try to do that–I follow me wherever I go to. My issues travel. And when I don’t deal with what is taking place on the inside, it becomes impossible to make, let alone sustain, eye contact with others. The connection we make to others with our eyes tells all.
Freud was right when he claimed that we cannot really hide anything–we leak. Not everyone is looking to see and so there are times when we can escape being discovered. However, you are forever in the know and the people who are most aware are those of most value. If you trust this reality, the rewards for healthy intimacy that you will experience will trump any mind game you are currently playing.
Build the Strength Within is a foundational work. The Strength Training: Total Life Fitness online course is a building block. The Super Soul Series that you can find out the details of at www.drdebcarlin.com are the direct experience group gatherings where you learn and practice what all this means. And then there is the one-on-one options where you work directly with me to learn and break through to your best version of who you are. I’m only an e-mail or a phone call away at deb@drdebcarlin.com or 314 727 0213.
