It is the relationships that we have in this life experience that give it true value and depth–not cash, not cars, not fabulous vacations. Each of those are fabulous, we all enjoy them but they leave us empty if there is no one with whom to share them. So how is it that you find and develop a loving relationship, especially the one we aim for most often–the romantic one?!
Step One: You must know your own self!
There is no way to compromise on this reality. The fact is that if you have not taken the time to get to know who you are, what your dreams and desires are, and what the life is that you really crave, you will never know if the person you meet and stare into the eyes of is really a match for you. Much like the case of cash, cars, and vacations, what is popular and feels good often provides a brief experience of glee but is not long lasting. For anything to be meaningful, we need duration. In order to connect with another, we need to have a sense of how we fit with them, what they add to our world, and what we contribute to theirs.
In my line of work, I meet couples who are frustrated because [among many topics] the other doesn’t want to participate in activities they like, is opposed to having a particular kind of pet, isn’t fond of their family members, or doesn’t share the same values about money. These become substantial challenges over time. Why are these problems occurring? These folks never took the time to recognize and own what is really important to them. Additionally, they didn’t take the time to find out what was vital for their mate before making a commitment.
Step Two: You must allow yourself time for genuine relaxation of the mind and the body.
We have a problem in America–we want satisfaction immediately. Although there are some things that we can have in a snap, lifelong love and deep romance are not on the list. What’s beautiful about a romantic connection is the deep to deep knowing that is a core part of the exchange; that’s only possible when you know your own self. This takes an elegant form of quiet and patience and it is beautiful time well invested. In Build the Strength Within, I show you the benefits of learning the most powerful, yet simplistic, exercises to relax your mind and body so that you can get in touch with your core self. The results are magnificent.
Step 3: You must learn to talk to yourself in ways that are authentically positive and healthy.
We all have an inner dialogue. In fact, not only do we talk to ourselves but we argue and diminish our own spirit. This is the wrong direction and all of us need help, at some point in time, to recover from these bad habits and replace them with ones that guide us to appreciate who we are. In Build the Strength Within, I write about the steps that you can take to get to know who you are and even provide you with the self talk scripts so you can learn to say positive, empowering things to develop healthy insights, self esteem, and confidence.
There is a whole lot more information for you about love, knowing yourself fully, and many related topics in my book–Build the Strength Within. Start to create the life that you really crave right now, don’t wait, let true love for yourself shine through and your perfect mate will become an integral part of your life.
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