When we enter a new relationship we carry along with us the rich history that
has been our life and that has shaped our story. We come complete with a perspective that influences not only our every thought and feeling but each breath. We get lost in the vast space that is our mind, wandering the terrain and believing what we encounter. We encounter others and some of it is experienced by us as lovely, some of it feels rugged, and all of it sparks a vulnerability that shakes us–sometimes shaking us to the core.
I have discovered that the solution to a successful connection to another necessitates a style of open communication that allows us to get out of our own way for the benefit of that connection. I want the connections to be healthy. Someone recently described this connection to me as connectivity. I love that. It captures the electrical sensation we crave that is described in every love sonnet, song, poem, romantic story, and giddy dialogue about sweet love.
Connectivity requires that we commit to authentic, that we hold steadfast to the notion we will not settle for a fabricated rapport, and that we invite ourselves to talk through whatever is needed with the other i.e., the person of focus in our love dynamic. No matter how tough the topic, don’t flinch, don’t recoil– be open to all possibilities. Not easy but oh so very simple and beautiful to do this–and the rewards are great because this process paves the road for the bridge between hearts.
I’m in a new romantic situation. It’s been a long time since I have been so. I’m practicing all over again that which I teach others and I am also learning. It struck me how easy things have been between me and this lovely man, how every scenario that has the potential to be a glitch becomes a talking point and dialogue that opens doors for us to walk through in an effort to know one another. We keep on walking through and discovering who we each are, what we want, what is non-negotiable, what we agree upon and where there are differences. The attraction grows as we seem to self correct as things pop up to throw us off course. One or both of us stumbles and the recovery happens swiftly as we talk–openly, kindly, and with genuine investment.
When we are ill, the body wants to heal. When we are sad, the core longs for happiness. When we are lonesome, we seek connection and connectivity. If we are to have it all, all the goodness that is the beauty of life and depth of the experience of living, we need to allow the self-corrections to occur.
Are you willing?
Trust, allow, embrace.
