The phrase is so descriptive — wrap your mind around it. We do indeed need to completely embrace something if we are to deal with it effectively. If we do not, it is impossible, like a fruit fly you are trying to swat, it just moves away swiftly. The mind and the heart must work in unison to understand.
How?
Sometimes this is very tough because we have defense mechanisms that shift into place to protect us from what the mind cannot yet manage to comprehend and make sense of. These defense mechanisms include: resistance, projection, and denial. Each of them protect us from the feelings of anxiety that a situation creates which stresses our ability to effectively cope with whatever the issue is. It is a part of human nature for this to be a part of our behavior.
When we are healthy, we use each one of these defenses across the course of life as we become more skillful at adapting to stress and coping effectively. When a situation overwhelms you, allow yourself to simply sit and breathe. Each time we choose to flee, we miss an opportunity to learn something about our own self and to cope effectively. There is nothing that takes place inside of us that is horrible, every bit of us is embraceable and shift-able, changeable, and able to learn. Our internal resources are strong, much stronger than we allow ourselves to typically believe.
I am witness to a young woman right now who is in the middle of a terminal diagnosis for her equally young husband. She cannot bring herself to sit and hear the news. Each delivery of his negative prognosis comes as a surprise. She flees from dialogue about what is pending. Tough as this news is, I gently try to get her to see that she has an internal fortitude to handle it all. Yes, she is frightened, she will be a widow in her early 40s. I’m working to lovingly help her wrap her mind around it so she can survive healthfully.
