“Hell, not only could I do that but it was even worse, I was living with someone else who I didn’t love – me!” was the reply to my question.
I found myself caught somewhere between stunned and almost giggling until I recognized the sheer honesty of the answer and agony of it. This individual had come to a point of complete awareness and my near chuckle was simply a naked discomfort with the open vulnerability until within about a second, it hit me full force. I could actually feel their words in my gut.
We continued the conversation. I heard about the marriage and the activities of a routine, very normal life complete with kids and family and vacations, holidays, careers, and friends. From a distance, it appeared lovely. However, we all know that it is what takes place on the inside that matters.
Curious, I asked when the recognition occurred. It was a slow build up to a point of complete intolerance of a sham. Sometimes a spouse who is on the receiving end feels like it came out of nowhere. The truth is that it does indeed come from a place of truth and it is just that the truth had not been shared, not even within the person delivering the message.
I felt very loving towards the person telling me this story, their story… they told it with an open and honest heart. They have a clarity now that has impacted their entire way of being in the world and being present for whoever they spend time amongst – it is refreshing. This individual has come to appreciate self love in a manner that is very healthy.
The quality of our life is measured by the way we feel and the way we make others feel. It is vital for us to be in touch with who we are — in truth…. alone with our thoughts and alone with what we know about who we are and what we want. This is the only life I am certain we get to have, I am dedicated to having it be the best version of me possible – honest flaws and all.