The topic of mothering is central for every human on the planet. It is an experience we all share in that we are born to a woman who is known to be our mother but the quality of that relationship is as varied as there are number of people.
The holiday marked as Mother’s Day is intriguing. When I was a child, I asked my mother why moms and dads got a special day and kids didn’t. She replied — “every day is for the children...” Beautiful.
Year after year, my dad would guide me about what he and I could do for mommy to make it a special event of a day with lovely presents. He got me interested in making her happy. I tuned into what my older sister and brother would do for her and gauged her responses. I watched what my dad would do to honor her and observed that as well.
I found that there is a way to watch a person and understand how to tune into what they crave, what is important to them. Sometimes it is the little comments they make and some of the time it is overt statements that are akin to announcements. I learned to watch and see what she would reach for, what she would delight that someone else had.
Most importantly, I learned that it is the way in which we deliver our gift and our plan the day that brings real meaning to it. When we do it all in a rush, a flurry, a quick interaction, there is an ache of the heart… because what is genuinely desired is the connection, the demonstration of a love that is meaningful, meaningful for both. To call your mom, to send a card, to bring her flowers, to take her out, to give her gifts you think she will enjoy — all good… but all for naught if she feels like you cannot spend the time with her.
Spend the time now. When she is gone, your Mother’s Day will become a significantly different reality. Invest, embrace, go deep, be tender, just love her… she gave you your life.