My mother used to get sad during the first part of January, each and every year. She told me it was because she missed her mother; her mother died in the beginning of January. My mother was only a tiny little 11 -year-old child when she lost her mother. And when she lost her mother, her father decided to leave. My mother ended up living in an orphanage.
She was a magnificent woman in spite of her beginnings. When I write the magnificent, I sincerely mean it. She was everything the word is.
mag·nif·i·cent
/magˈnifəsənt/
Adjective
- Impressively beautiful, elaborate, or extravagant; striking.
- Very good; excellent.
Synonyms
splendid- gorgeous- grand-superb- glorious
I know that it was my good fortune to have been born to her and my father. They loved one another and I was raised knowing that as pure fact.
It is early March now. The winter is fading a bit and the spring season is just beginning. I love the change of seasons and have always felt a giddy girlish excitement about this time of year that is until 2010. Now this time of year is my annual memory of what my life was in March of 2009. Although I am a grown up person, it pains me to recall, revisit, and remember the last month of my mother’s life. She died April 4th of 2009.
Some people have advised me to stay busy, don’t think about it, let it go, don’t get down, don’t be morose. They might as well be speaking an ancient unknown language because it makes no sense to my mind or my heart.
Our life is filled with opportunities to embrace, to love, to feel deeply and to connect to others. What is life without that element? It is empty. Every year we live we have pain and sadness that invades our space; they remind us of how much we crave happiness and love.
My annual memories are many. The days I spend recalling love that now brings my heart to sadness are a small percentage, the largest portion is about magnificent. Friends may offer mourning advice but coping is a personal choice. Memories are a reminder that life is short yet filled with opportunity.
