Let what out?
I’m not so well acquainted with it, but I am learning from so many sources, especially those close to me, that this is a lovely experience. I’m not so sure. I’ve got mixed feelings. Really, extending beyond my zone of comfort and allowing people to know my frailties? However, there is something magnificent happening as people seem to be more drawn to me and more overt in their expression of how they perceive and feel in my direction.
All this causes me to pause, reflect, and gather insight.
I wrote the book on inner strength. Hmmm. So much of me comes from my inner fortitude…but then again….I have my needs. And yet people have complained to me across the course of my life that I don’t seem to need, that I seem to pull through and get it all taken care of without them even knowing there was an issue. Or they knew, but didn’t feel like I would allow them in. This is true. I hold people at bay.
Come on now, you know why. We each take turns not wanting to get emotionally naked and let others know we are afraid, we are suffering, we are sad, we are broken, we are stupid, we are fearful of having them recoil if they see we are actually just human.
Confession–I want to be a Saint.
My goal is to be lovely, strong, soft and elegant together with funny, resourceful, and brilliant. However, I am learning that I am much more appealing if I cannot make it all happen on my own. I need other humans and I need our Source. Together, we can accomplish anything and everything. Within one another we find magnificence. The deeper we love–the more authentic and honest we are–the more vulnerable we are.
How do I expect for anyone to get close to me if I don’t open the door? If it rains and even storms inside my house, so what. This is life. If we are not willing to let in and then also let out, we are cutting ourselves short. I think of the many times I have withheld, been reserved….yea, some of you are laughing because I am so direct. But, we all take turns, right? I actually had someone tell me very recently not to be subtle with him….I am paying attention. If we want from another, we need to be open, vulnerable, expressive, and genuine.